Man Speaks Alone

A man speaks, he's quite alone:

Getting it all out of my head

Death is all around me. It seems to be the only thing I think of lately. It makes everything seem so small. It makes me feel like a fool here tapping on my keyboard trying to convince myself my life has some meaning. I know it's all meaningless. I know this will all amount to a pile of shit when I die. Is it anger I'm feeling? I don't think so. I'm not angry, or afraid, or anxious - I'm simply seeing things for what they are. We make such a big fucking deal of it all and it's really ridiculous. We're wasting our time, not even living.

Why do I get up every morning and go to a job I hate? Why am I spending thousands of dollars and countless hours getting a degree that will do nothing for me? Sure, it will grant me permanent certification to teach, but I'm not learning from these classes. I can teach myself, I don't need them. Why am I doing it?I don't know, I can't help thinking lately that if it's going to end anyway it may as well end now. I'm just wasting time waiting for the inevitable. And of course there will be those who say the means justifies the end in this case - I have to do something with the time I have, blah, blah, blah - you're only trying to convince yourself that there's meaning in your life. Keep lying to yourself but don't expect me to buy it. I've accepted that there is no meaning to life, there are no answers.< p>

The universe goes on without us, and doesn't even notice if we live or die. We live in this little bubble of a planet that we think is the center of the universe, but really what effect do our actions here on earth have on anything. We are all like Ozymandius - 'look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!' as we lie in the dust of our own destruction. I'm going to sleep and if there's any justice in the world I won't wake up.

I found it interesting to hear the man speak. It would be easy for me to knock his view. Instead I appluad him for being so bold. I see he's troubled because we're not free - that's where we get meaning. We live in a system which makes us slaves to work, heads bloated with propoganda, food processed without love. Why should our lives affect the dust of the universe in any purposeful way?
I like the bit about learning and teaching: government school is cheating government propaganda by right-on social-materialist revolutionaries, timid or bullish, always right since the age of...school-age; Life - an extension of high-school cool (Zappa, F.)

Link: downtheinkwell: Getting it all out of my head